Satisfaction
by Seraphim
Summary: My first attempt at first person. Reno tells us about his life....a bit of a twist ending. Please r/r


I feel satisfied. It's an odd feeling, good, but odd. It's the first time I can remember feeling this way. Never before, even in my 'care-free youth' have I ever been satisfied with myself. I always felt pressured to do more, and be the best of the best. Maybe becoming a Turk wasn't the healthiest thing for a young man to dream about, but at least it was a dream. It was hard keeping a life-style like that, especially growing up in the slums. Having a goal in life when you live there…well, more often that not it's just your defeat. 

You'll work hard your entire life, pushing and pushing for that one goal, the one thing you feel you deserve in life. But you'll never get it. 

It's a sad thing, growing up in the slums. The truths about life are laid out for you at an early age. The smartest thing that you can do, if you want to survive, is to stop caring. Let your heart grow cold. Wipe away the tears, and suck it all in. Otherwise, it's a long, cold, and heart-wrenching road. I learned that the hard way.

Oh sure, you all say, what? Reno? He had a heart? I assure you, you didn't hear wrong. I was quite the bright-eyed youth. Nothing could stop me, and nothing could break my spirit. I don't think I really understood what it would mean, to be a Turk, but nevertheless that's all I thought about. I think just about drove my older brother up a wall talking about it.

"Reno, pipe down!" Bryce had always told me. "You're going to have to learn to be quiet if you're serious about becoming a Turk, although why you would want to is beyond me."

Bryce never understood me. He was only two years older than me, but sometimes he seemed two decades older. 

We had been born into one of the nicer families in the slums. Not that we were rich, not even close. Our mother and father were miraculously still together. They had met when they were sixteen. Dad was a member of one of many gangs, I don't even recall the name anymore. And my mom was a waitress, though several times she had to resort to less…appealing means to get by.

They got married when they were just seventeen, mom was already six months pregnant with Bryce. They settled down in a little apartment in sector seven, and soon after, my older brother was born. They're pride and joy. Soon after he came around, mom got pregnant again, this time with our sister, Kirsten. 

I was the last of the three children. I think my mother was too worn out to have any more. We didn't go to school. No one really went to school in the slums, their just wasn't any reason to. There were no jobs that really required any skills that you couldn't learn from your parents or on the street.

I lived for eight years in blissful ignorance. There were lots of neighbor kids for me to play with, not mention Bryce and Kirsten. Eight happy years…and then it all came tumbling down.

It was in the middle of summer, I believe. It's hard to tell seasons from seasons under that big plate, but the ventilation pipes weren't spewing as much steam, so I'm pretty sure it was summer. Well, I was playing with some kids about my age, a few blocks for the apartment. Bryce had been down with us off and on, mainly checking up on Reno. He was never gone very long, so when he hadn't shown his face in forty minutes, I got a little uneasy.

"Hey guys, I'll be right back," I had told my friends. "I'm going to go find Bryce."

I began running as fast as my little, eight year old legs would allow. I could just sense that something was wrong. It didn't take long to reach the apartment. When I reached the small complex, there was a police car and several ambulances parked in front, along with a whispering crowd. A couldn't fight my way through, so I stopped beside two of the local gossips.

"What happened?"

"You know that family, on the third floor?"

"Yeah, the one with the two little boys?"

"Yeah, well, from what I here, they got attacked."

"Attacked?"

"Yeah, far as I can tell it was a robbery gone bad. The parents and little girl are all three dead, the oldest boy's in hysterics."

"What about the little one, Reno?"

"I dunno." That was all I stayed to hear, getting down on my hands and knees, I literally crawled through the crowd.

"Bryce!" I found my older brother sitting on the steps, a man in a police uniform kneeling in front of him.

"Reno!" He started to get up, but the cop held him down. "Please, that's my little brother."

"I'm sorry son, but you have to wait until we're done asking you questions," was all I heard before another police officer grabbed me by the waist and took me off a little ways to talk.

I don't remember anything about the conversation, most likely because, I wasn't listening. I just kept thinking about what that woman had said. Mom, Dad, Kirsten…dead? No, it wasn't true. Couldn't be. I didn't believe it.

That attitude lasted a whole five minutes, until…until I saw them wheel out the bodies. Zipped tightly in body bags…it was very recognizable site for anyone in the slums. After that…there's nothing. No memories, no visions, no nothing, for almost a year.

Apparently, Bryce and I were taken to the orphanage. We lived for eight months before my memories start trickling back in. I was told I lived basically, in a state of shock. I ate, drank, slept, and breathed. That was about the extent of my life for a whole eight months.

One of the clearest memories I have after the murders is taking a walk with Bryce. The workers in the orphanage were pretty nice, and the didn't mind if we left the premises, just as long as we didn't go to far, so Bryce and I always went for walks in the surrounding neighborhood. 

On this particular day, Bryce and I were racing down the sidewalk, not paying attention to the other pedestrians that we bumped into. We were careening around a corner, when I smacked straight into a man's legs, knocking myself to the ground. 

"What where you're going a kid," a voice muttered down to me with disgust, and looking up, I saw three men, all dressed in matching blue suits. I was about to say something snide in return, but was halted by Bryce's foot in my stomach. 

"Sorry, sir," he answered for me while hunched over, grasping my abdomen. When I looked back up, the three men were well on their way down the sidewalk.

"What'd you do that for?" I had whined at Bryce.

"You jerk! Don't you know who that was?"

"No, who?"

"The Turks!"

Standing up, I gave my older brother my best, And-I-Would-Care-Why-? Look. "The who?"

"The Turks! You don't want to mess with them. They'll kill your puppy if it barks at them!"

By now we had started walking back to the orphanage, which had been our original destination. "Who are they?"

"They work for Shinra, that big company that runs everything. They're Mr. Shinra's bodyguards, and they're real mean."

"Bodyguards? So they protect stuff?"

"Well, I guess, but I hear they kill more than protect."

I think it was that moment that my dream to be a Turk began. I didn't care about the killing part, if being a Turk meant I could protect someone, I'd do it. From then on, everything I did, I did to push more towards my goal. I was going to be a Turk. One of Shinra's finest. The best of the best. Well, I think you get the picture.

All of my little buddies back at the orphanage laughed at me for it. Hell, I would have laughed at me too. I was a very scrawny child, and I didn't know the first thing about fighting. I always steered clear of conflicts. So, I did the only thing that made sense. I asked Bryce to hit me.

"I'm not going to hit you!" He had exclaimed the moment I'd asked him.

"Aw c'mon Bryce! Please?"

"No! Why do you want me ta hit ya?"

"Well I gotta learn ta handle pain some how!" 

"Then go shut your pinky in a door, I'm not gonna hit cha." 

"You're prolly afraid I'll hit ya back, aren't cha?"

"No! Reno, you're a wuss, you couldn't hurt no one if you're life depended on it."

"So then hit me!"

"Fine!"

I honestly hadn't been expecting it. Bryce had a strong arm, and didn't hold out on me. I think my nose bled for two hours straight. But hey, I'd asked for it.

Bryce wouldn't hit me again after that, but that didn't mean I couldn't find anyone else to. There were dozens of kids there willing to pick a fight with a scrawny boy like me. 

It was rough, at first, but after awhile I got pretty good handling pain, and dodging when ever possible. I wasn't the best fighter in the world, but I was only about eleven at this time. I still had time to improve.

When I was twelve, and Bryce was fourteen, almost fifteen. The orphanage was shut down. All the older children there had a choice to make, get shipped off to a different orphanage in Junon, or stay and try and make it on the streets of Midgar. Bryce and I chose the latter of the two options.

It was pretty rough, we basically lived in an alley with some others from the orphanage for a year, until I heard something that changed my life.

Shinra needed young men for their SOLDIER program. Anyone thirteen to twenty-five could try and enter.

"Bryce! Bryce! Did you hear that?" I was practically leaping for hoy when I first heard it on the radio of a car that was parked near-by.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"That could be my break! That could be how I become a Turk!"

"Geez," Bryce had rolled his eyes at me, then glared. "You still insitin' that yer gonna be a Turk?"

"Yes! C'mon!"

"C'mon what? It's yer dream. I'm not going have nothing to do with Shinra. Nothing."

"Bryce!"

"What? Is it the law that I have to everything you do and vice versa? Go on and do it if you want, but I'm stayin' here."

Sometimes, Bryce really ticked me off. "Fine. I will." That was the last time I saw Bryce for a few years.

After some asking around, I found out that Shinra had set up a recruiting center down in Wall Market. I suppose I was lucky to sign at the time I did. Shinra was desperate. I made it easily.

So for the next few years I work as a SOLDIER. My first months I was a lowly third class, but I quickly worked my way up to second class. I stayed there for a year and a half. Then, on my fifteenth birthday, I made Shinra SOLDIER First Class. It was a very proud day for me. I went out with some friends to celebrate that night. It was then that I finally saw Bryce again.

He and some other guys were at the same bar that we had gone too. I don't think he even knew who I was until I approached him.

"Hey…Bryce."

"Reno?" Either he was really drunk, or he just didn't recognize me. "God, I haven't seen you in…what's it been, two years?"

"Yeah…so, how ya been?" We talked for about an hour, then I had to go. Damn Shinra…they gave anyone under eighteen a curfew. I only saw Bryce one time after that…but I'll get to that a minute.

When I reached First Class SOLDIER, my dream of being a Turk seemed closer than ever. Many of the Turks in the past had come directly from the First Class SOLDIER ranks. The only problem was, there was already four Turks, and the usually never had more than three. And the only way there would be an opening, was if one or two of them…died. Shinra simply didn't fire Turks. It was too risky. So I waited for my break, hoping that it would eventually come.

And indeed, it did. Obviously. A year and a half later. I was sixteen, one of the best of SOLDIERs out there. And I'm saying that because I'm full of myself, I'm saying it because it's true. 

The Turks of that time were investigating a breech in Shinra security. I don't know much of the specifics, but I do know that they ended up in an apartment complex. One second there were other people in it, then there weren't, and then a bomb went off. Killed two of the Turks, serious injured the other two.

Once the leader, Tseng, was well enough, he came down to the training center to observe us, and pick out his new Turk. And of course, it was yours truly.

So…it had finally happened. I was a Turk. And strangely, I still had a heart. And a soul. Yes, I was still human at the time.

Of course, I didn't get to just into being a Turk, I had to have…I guess you could call it, an initiation. 

See, before that bomb had gone off, the Turks had wiped out most of the low lives they had been hunting. Only a few escaped. My task was to help them finish off the last of them.

So, as soon Tseng and the other Turk, Rude, were up to it, we went hunting. That's what it felt like. Hunting. I was a little nervous, but I couldn't wait to get started. Yeah, I still had a heart and a soul, but that didn't mean I couldn't be a cold-hearted bastard. 

So, we get to where Tseng believes they're hiding. Sure enough, they're in there. It was too dark for me to make out any faces, but he and Rude sure seemed familiar with them.

There weren't many of them, six, eight tops. We cleared them out pretty quickly. I just ignored the screams and pleas for help, and shot.

As we were leaving the room, I noticed one of them sprawled out in one of the few pools of light, his face was plain as day. I think that's when I lost my soul. Knowing that I had killed him…I had shot Bryce. My own brother. But, I hadn't stopped caring. Not yet. That was still to come. 

I suppose the next big chapter in my life came a little over a year later, when I was still a young Turk at 17. Rude and I had a meeting with President Shinra. It's always good idea to show up early for those. Well, when got there, he was coming out, with two younger versions of him and his wife. His son, Rufus, and his daughter, Ashleigh. Their were twins, my age. Both had the same shade of strawberry blonde hair, and the same icy-blue eyes. 

"Ah, Reno, Rude," Shinra always had a stupid grin plastered on his face when his kids around. "Rude, I believe you've already met Ashleigh and Rufus, but Reno, I don't think you've had the pleasure."

"No, sir."

"Well then, Ashleigh, Rufus, this is my newest Turk, Reno. Reno, these are my children, my pride and joy, Rufus and Ashleigh. I believe you're all about the same age."

"Nice to meet you," out of politeness, I leaned over and shook both of their, making sure to give Ashleigh's a slight kiss. Nothing big, after all her dad, who happened to be my boss, was standing right there. He didn't seem to care though. Lucky me.

"Well, dad," little Rufus began, heh, he always hated it when I called him that. "Ash and me better go. Mom's expecting us for lunch soon." He waved to us and started towards the elevator.

"Bye, Daddy," Ashleigh waved, too, following Rufus. Now, I don't know if it was my imagination or not, but I think she gave me an extra smile as she left.

That was only my first in many encounters with the lovely Ashleigh. A few weeks later, Shinra started receiving threats. Nothing unusual, at least not for the leader of a large corporation that many people hated, but it still unnerved him. The threats weren't directed immediately at him, they were more towards his family. So Shinra basically had me baby-sit Rufus and Ashleigh. I accompanied them on their way to school to make sure no one messed with them, I was stationed at their house quite frequently, and any time one of them went out, I wasn't supposed to be far behind.

I had never really spent much time with anyone my age. Growing up I always tagged along with Bryce and his friends, and I was always the youngest in my group during my time as a SOLDIER, so this was a nice change of pace. Rufus sorta became…well, like a friend I guess you could say, and Ashleigh…well…she was something else.

She was a beauty, not one of those drop-dead, model types, just genuinely pretty. She had a very pleasant face, and she always seemed happy, not annoyingly happy, just, happy. She was a rare gem…

It seemed like Rufus always found a way of getting out of the house, without me having to go. He had quite a bit more freedom that his sister, which, while it didn't seem fair, I didn't mind. It just meant I got to spend more time with Ashleigh.

It was the first time since Bryce's death that I could truly be happy again. Just being near her…it was heaven. But…ah, as they say, the best was yet to come.

One day, after she and Rufus had come home from school, and Rufus had already taken off, Ashleigh started telling me about their school's upcoming dance, and I off-handedly asked her who she would be going with.

"Mmm…probably no one." 

"Really? Why not?"

"Because the guy I want to go with doesn't go to high school."

"Oh, he's already graduated?" My eyebrows shot straight up that comment.

"Nope."

"Younger? A whole lot younger?"

"Nope he's my age, he just doesn't go to high school." At this part I think she started looking at me slyly, but me, being the fool that I am, didn't notice. After a few moments of ignorant silence on my part she blurted out, "Oh Reno, it's you!"

"Me?"

This time I noticed the sly grin on her face, and found of my own to match it. "Hmm…I'm sorry, but I think I'm working that night."

After that, Ashleigh and I more or less had a relationship. Nothing open of course, her father would have killed us both had he found out. As the days went by, I grew more and more appreciative that Rufus didn't want to be 'baby-sat', it just meant more time for Ashleigh and I to spend together. We went on like this for two months almost, before anyone found out. That's when things started going wrong. Incredibly wrong.

Ashleigh and I had sneaked off to one of the more hidden parts of their enormous backyard. We were doing what any normal teenage couple would be. Kissing. Mixed in with brief conversation bits.

"Mmm, Reno did you hear something?"

"Nope, less talk, more kissing." To this, she giggled. God I loved to hear her laugh.

"No, seriously," Playfully, she pushed me away. "I think I heard something."

I gave her an over-dramatic sigh and shrugged. "Well what do you want me to do about is, Miss Shinra?"

"Go check it out. Be a man."

Another faked sigh. "Alright, if you insist." I had leaned over for one last kiss, when a familiar voice interrupted us.

"Ah ha! I knew you two had something going on," There behind us, stood obnoxious little Rufus, snide smirk and all.

"Rufus!" Ashleigh had leapt out of her seat on the bench, and now standing in front of her twin. "Please don't tell daddy!"

"Oh, why shouldn't I, little-miss-perfect?"

"Rufus don't start that now! Isn't Reno your friend? Don't ruin his career just because you don't like me!"

"Oh, but I wouldn't been ruining his career, Dad never fires a Turk. I'd be ruining yours. I know 'daddy' already wants you to run the company. You're his favorite."

"Rufus please!" Her please, however, would be in vain. Rufus told their father the next morning. I got called into his office bright and early.

Shinra and his daughter were already in there when I showed up, I kept my eyes on the ground. I couldn't face either one of them. Shinra went into some long speech that I didn't pay much attention too, just enough to hear that she was going to be shipped off to boarding school and I was going to be kept under a watchful eye.

Ashleigh ran off as soon as he was done, I didn't even get a chance to talk to her before I had to go back to work. 

Sometime early that afternoon, Rufus paid me a little visit in my office, where I had basically been pouting all day.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite Turk!"

"Can it, brat."

"Touchy, touchy," He had given me his best sympathetic look possible. "You know I don't have anything against you, right? That was all between me and Ashleigh. A man's gotta secure his place in the future after all." I had just sat there glaring at him while he spoke. Now he casually picked up my hand-gun that I laid on top of my desk, quickly enough so I couldn't stop him.

"I always wanted one of these. Dad wouldn't let me have one though."

"Rufus, put it down."

"No."

"NOW." The next few seconds are little hazy. I reached for the gun as my office door flung open all of a sudden, and red-eyed Ashleigh stepped in. I fell back in my chair as I heard the gun go off and saw a wide-eyed Rufus jerk back in recoil. Then Ashleigh, fell to the ground. Rufus and I both stared off for a moment, in shock, then I shook myself out of it and grabbed the gun from Rufus' hand.

"Oh crap…" was all he said, when we rushed down to check on Ashleigh…but it was too late. The bullet had struck her right in the heart. They say she most likely died instantly. And I hadn't been able to protect her.

Tseng and Rude had shown almost instantaneously, President Shinra wasn't far behind. Rufus and I were both pretty shaken up, so were both taken down to Tseng's so he could sort things out. Rufus offered to go in first. I should have known better than to let him…but no, I was still the ignorant teenager in love.

Rufus stayed in the office about thirty minutes. When he came out he motioned for me to go in, which I did so, very slowly.

Inside, it was just Tseng, giving me an odd look.

"What?" I asked him, sitting down in the chair opposite him, and throwing my head in my hands.

"Rufus told us what happened."

"I know."

"He said it was a mistake."

"Yeah."

"I just have one question, why were you holding your gun in the first place?"

"Huh?"

"Rufus said that you were holding your gun when Ashleigh burst into the room, startling you both. He said you jumped and accidentally shot off your gun. Isn't that what happened?"

That lying little bastard. He made up a story to save his own skin. Well, I did the only thing that I could. I lied to. "Yeah, that's happened. Um, I had it sitting on my desk, and I was putting it back in my holster when she came in."

And that's when I lost my heart. I was officially, a Turk.

So, the years went by. Nothing changed much. Shinra died, and Rufus took over. Everyone seemed to forget the whole ordeal. Everyone but me. Then Avalanche came, and Elena joined the Turks. And then…Tseng died. Another soul I couldn't protect. Not all that long after, Avalanche defeated that freak Sephiroth, and that huge Meteor-thing was destroyed.

That's where the story of the Turks stops. It was just me, Rude, and Elena. Rude was tired of all the blood-shed, and Elena was too broken hearted for Tseng, and me…well, I was just tired. Tired of not being able to protect anyone. I vowed to make it up one day.

And finally…I got the chance. Today. It's been five years since Meteor, and I hadn't seen anyone involved in the fight since. But today, in the local bar, I saw dear Elena, looking lost, as usual. The bar's not the kind of place for types likes her, she's too strong and too weak at the same time for the people there.

I dunno what exactly happened, some guy said something she didn't like, or grabbed her ass, or something, but before I even got a chance to say hello to her, she was cornered by a guy with a big gun. 

"Elena!" I wasn't thinking, I was just doing. It didn't even hurt. I barely felt the bullets rip through me.

My life has flashed before my eyes, like everyone says it will. I can hear Elena crying, and people trying to restrain the man, but I can't do anything. And now I realize, I did it. I finally got to protect someone I loved. I am satisfied. Mom, Dad, Kirsten, Bryce…and Ashleigh, I'll be seeing you really soon. 

Authors Notes" This obviously not the best story I've done. But is the oddest. I don't like writing in first person, but it just seemed right for this. I really enjoy writing for Reno, and I finally gave in and wrote him his own story. I hope you liked it!


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